Scientists have discovered the primary cause of heart attacks in the 5-95 age group.
Shock revelations from the Klaus Loon Centre for Global Dementia have now exposed the shocking hitherto unknown shocking fact that is bound to . . . er shock millions of people into an extreme bout of a mental illness known to experts as Blind Stupidity (BS).
BS is an often fatal condition in which the sufferer loses the capacity for rational thought and does everything the government tells them to without recognising it is completely daft.
Many traumatic events have been known to induce the levels of shock that trigger BS, such as switching on the BBC, reading newspapers, discovering that Klaud Scwabb is “human” and not an actual muppet, realising George Soros isn’t dead despite appearances and so forth.
The latest and perhaps most traumatic event was yesterday’s announcement from the Klaus Loon Centre for Global Dementia that its researchers have discovered that the primary cause of heart attacks is not the clocks going forward, shaking the duvet too vigorously or too-tight underpants as previously proven in thousands of scientific press releases.
The centre’s chief scientist, Prof Devious O’Charlatan, explained that they have discovered the hitherto completely unexpected primary cause of heart attacks in British Citizens is the stress brought on by being unable to develop herd immunity to the incumbent government.
Exposure is believed to occur when one comes close to the source of infection, such as being in the same country, where one is likely to fall foul of the media-borne Poly-Ticks virus.
It is believed that proximity to the government may already have killed millions of people whose deaths were blamed on something else entirely (such as God).
Researchers are now desperately seeking an antidote and are hopeful it will come in the form of a new political party run by sensible people, although some worry that this may prove impossible.
by Steve Cook
Join: 👉 https://t.me/acnewspatriots
The opinions expressed by contributors and/or content partners are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of AC.NEWS
Disclaimer: This article may contain statements that reflect the opinion of the author. The contents of this article are of sole responsibility of the author(s). AC.News will not be responsible for any inaccurate or incorrect statement in this article www.ac.news websites contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner. Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.
Disclaimer: The information and opinions shared are for informational purposes only including, but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material are not intended as medical advice or instruction. Nothing mentioned is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Discussion about this post